Dear Daily Mail. Sincerely, Amanda Palmer

The American queen of dark cabaret came a-visiting to London this weekend, with a personal message to our very own Daily Mail.

Amanda Palmer (c) from the cover to recent album Theatre Is Evil

The Daily Mail is a divisive newspaper. There are those who think it is a British daily middle-market right-wing tabloid newspaper which has few kind words for gays, migrants and any element of the public sector yet is happy to paint a positive picture of the recently non-convicted George Zimmerman. And there are those who haven’t read it.

It is the newspaper that invented a hat, was friendly with the fascists and inspired John Lennon to write A Day In The Life. Typical headlines include “Abortion hope after ‘gay genes’ finding”, “I thought tattoos were for sluts…” and “Are all beautiful women boring?” while hate-seeking columnists are always on hand to stir the pot, for example that Jan Moir article after Stephen Gately’s death.

All of this may seem a very British affair but it has taken an American singer to encapsulate in song what many feel about the newspaper. Amanda Palmer was in London this weekend playing at the Roundhouse to promote her recent album Theatre Is Evil and she had a few choice words for the Daily Mail.

This video features strong language and nudity and is, hence, decidedly NSFW. Enjoy.

And, should the video be taken down for whatever reason (we imagine the Daily Mail lawyers are on the case as we speak), here are the lyrics. Feel free to flash your own boobs midway through the song.

dear daily mail,
it has come to my recent attention
that me recent appearance at glastonbury festivals kindly received a mention
i was doing a number of things on that stage up to and including singing songs (like you do…)
but you chose to ignore that and instead you published a feature review of my boob

dear daily mail,
there’s a thing called a search engine: use it!
if you’d googled my tits in advance you’d have found that your photos are hardly exclusive
in addition you state that my breast had escaped from my bra like a thief on the run
you do you know that it wasn’t attempting to just take in the RARE british sun?

dear daily mail,
it’s so sad what you tabloids are doing
your focus on debasing women’s appearances ruins our species of humans
but a rag is a rag and far be it from me to go censoring anyone OH NO
it appears that my entire body is currently trying to escape this kimono….

dear daily mail,
you misogynist pile of twats
i’m tired of these baby bumps, vadge flashes, muffintops
where are the newsworthy COCKS?
if iggy or jagger or bowie go topless the news barely causes a ripple
blah blah blah feminist blah blah blah gender shit blah blah blah
OH MY GOD NIPPLE

dear daily mail,
you will never write about this night
i know that because i’ve addressed you directly i’ve made myself no fun to fight
but thanks to the internet people all over the world can enjoy this discourse
and commune with a roomful of people in london who aren’t drinking kool-aid like yours

and though there be millions of people who’ll accept the cultural bar where you have it at
there are plenty of others who’re perfectly willing to see breasts in their natural habitat

i keenly anticipate your highly literate coverage of upcoming tours

dear daily mail,
UP YOURS.

Amanda Palmer has written a blogpost about the video: clickety-click here.

Photo credit: Shervin Lainez