Choose Trainspotting. Choose the Vaults. Choose interactive theatre. Choose a dash back to the last Summer of Love. Choose a loud rave. Choose to wear earplugs (one pair of, supplied). Choose strong nudity. Choose dark humour. Choose heavy Scottish accents with no fucking subtitles. Choose an awesome soundtrack. Choose to dive into a world of drugs, sex, death and job interviews. Choose the best bits of Irvine Welsh’s seminal novel enacted with conviction and character by a cast who commit every fibre of their being to the production.

Choose moving monologues. Choose brutal banter. Choose to see the film sequel. Choose to be sat on. Choose to have a pool cue miss your head by inches. Choose to be splattered by something cold, brown and wet. Choose to engage with a ferocious experience which never lets up. Choose to hold this play up as an example of how modern theatre can powerfully mimic one of cabaret’s finest qualities: kicking the fourth wall in the scrotum and then stamping on it for good measure. Choose Trainspotting.

Choose to tell all your mates about Trainspotting because, frankly, if there is anyone who sees this and still poo-poos the very concept of another night out at the theatre, they might not be the kind of people you want as mates, you ken?

This Is Cabaret rating ★★★★★

Trainspotting continues at The Vaults until 15 January 2017. Tickets are £20-£35. More information can be found on the official Vaults website.

Image: Geraint Lewis