Miss Cairo: "remember, everyone listens to a drag queen."

Miss Cairo: “remember, everyone listens to a drag queen.”

On Friday, the annual Drag Idol contest draws to a close with a grand finale at Soho’s The Two Brewers. Dusty Springs, Martha D’Arthur, Miss Demeanour and Topsie Redfern will be facing off against each other with one walking away £5,000 and a guaranteed paid booking at each of the twenty-one participating venues.

For those trannies wanting some of that spotlight action for themselves, London drag artiste Miss Cairo has some tips to reach the top.

I feel a bit of a traitor explaining what the perfect drag artiste should be. If I was being completely honest, I would say me. Some would say that would be obnoxious and narcissistic but then aren’t we all?

Through seeing many trannies tread numerous stages in countless venues, it’s safe to say there are a few key notes to being a cut above the rest, five fail-safe suggestions. I like to call them the FFSs.

1. Face

A drag queen has to look amazing. How amazing? Fucking amazing. To do that, you have to create your own look. Whether it is a glossy, high-fashion magazine model or a trashy, beaten down tranny mess, it’s important to know what your style is, or at least to explore it. Never forget that make-up does wonders, even for people with less than blessed mugs. Contouring is key. Colour palette counts.

2. Fashion

Have a look at your body. Being a drag queen isn’t necessarily about looking like a woman. You must embrace what you have and learn to exaggerate, highlight and love these parts. If you want to do femme realness, corsets and padding are essential, especially to those testosterone-inclined body types.

If you’re going for a more gender fuck look, throw these constraints out the window and just don a pair of heels and a cheap Smiffy’s wig. Feel fabulous in the things you wear and believe that fashion is an extension of your inner devil and diva.

3. Fierceness

Being fierce is a term made famous within drag by the queens of New York back in the day. Embrace your fierceness but make it your own. In my eyes, fierce is all about being Fearless, Intense, Enigmatic, Ready, Cool and Enlightening.

Fierceness also covers how you conduct yourself. Every drag artiste is a torch bearer. Anything you say or do will be used as evidence against and you need to harness that power to better the world you live in. Sure, you can make foul lesbian jokes that make the LGBTQ community take a few steps back into the dark ages. Sure, you can tell tell jokes that make all gays look like nothing more than cocksucking whores. And sure as hell you could have a voice and change the world you live in. Remember: everyone listens to a drag queen.

4. Fame

Believe your own hype. From tweeting to facebooking your adventures, taking photos of other performers, tagging, liking, it’s all important and it’s all about a genuine connection. Get your name out there on the world wide web but show your fierce face and foxy flesh at as many events as you can. Support the community you’re in and tell everyone you’re amazing. Believe that you are worthy and have fun frolicking and sharing your special and sexy self with the world.

5. Fun

You’re a man in a fucking dress. Deal with it. If you can’t have fun in drag, you shouldn’t be doing it. Don’t be afraid to party but remember, the key to success is being humble and happy in your own skin. Let us remember the immortal words of our goddess and my very good friend Rupaul: “We are born naked, the rest is drag” and “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gunna love anybody else?!”

More information on the Drag Idol 2013 final can be found here.