London is not short on beautiful and glamorous cabaret singers. For some in the audience, it may seem an impossible dream that, some day, you will be dating one of their number. Persevere, though, and you will reap many rewards. There are at least five…
Everyone will think your girlfriend’s a burlesque dancer or Liza Minnelli.
Mention you’re dating a cabaret singer and people will imagine one of two things: you’ve bagged yourself a lady who knows her way around a pair of nipple tassels or even better, Cabaret‘s Liza Minnelli. Either way, the lads are going be im-effing-pressed.
Straddles quite a lot of men in the name of art.
At first glance, may seem a detrimental addition to your relationship. On the contrary, her jumping on men (funny, not sexy, but all for art) will remind you of the courtship phase when you were just an unsuspecting audience member, about to be mounted. It will take you back to that moment of destiny when your face was pushed down in her boobs, you couldn’t really breathe and you just knew.
Not afraid to express her feelings.
Remember those girls you used to go out with. The pretty little ones who didn’t really open their mouths unless it was to laugh at your jokes. You know, the ones who were really consistent with their emotions and were just, well, uncomplicated. You hated them, didn’t you? You wanted the exact opposite of that, didn’t you? You want to date a cabaret singer.
You’ll get your five minutes of fame.
Look on the bright side. Everything you do or say could be set betwixt Céline Dion’s Power of Love and Adele’s Someone Like You. Fear not, if you’re nice you’ll be in the “I will always love you” finale. It’s uplifting, and you’ll be the hero of the piece. Should you inspire a song or two, rest assured that all names will be changed and finger puppets will not be made in your image… again.
She needs you.
It may seem like she’s the ballsy diva of an (award-winning) cabaret, who chews ‘em up and spits ‘em out like a Llama Minnelli. No. When she gets back from playing to six shocked pensioners in a warehouse on an abandoned albeit edgy industrial estate in Guernsey, she will need a cup of tea and a hug. Plus she gets it all out on stage so you’ll probably find she’s more about watching Great British Bake Off in her pajamas than singing Céline in your face. Though, twist her arm…
Winner of the Best Cabaret Adelaide Fringe 2011, Damsel Sophie will be appearing on the Brighton Fringe over the next Bank Holiday. Her show The Damsel in Shining Armour is at the Laughing Horse from 24-27 May. Tickets are free but must be booked in advance.
Photo credit: Richard Davenport